The Confessions Of Lily Evans
by DemonicBallerina
Summary: Maybe James isn’t really as bad as I’ve always made him out to be. Like, what if he was actually trying to flatter Snape that time he got down on one knee and asked him if he would ‘go to the prom’ with him? ...Actually, maybe not...
1. Welcome to ze life of Lily Evans

**Disclaimer:** This is for the whole fic. I don't own anything from Harry Potter.

**A/N:** Look don't even ask how I'm going to manage updating all these fics that I'm writing. I just couldn't stop my self from writing this. It's just something that I can let my insanity loose in. In a strangely realistic way. So now, I bring you….

The oh so originally titled confessions of Lily Evans 

Enjoy.

**Friday December 11th**

My dorm 

**7.08 pm**

Why does my life have to be so utterly boring? Edith and Nat went missing hours ago. I've looked for them everywhere but I can't find them. Stupid friends. What do they think they're doing, leaving me here anyway?

I think I'm going insane with boredom. I even tried playing chess with myself for a while. It was actually entertaining for a bit. But then the novelty of it all wore off and it was back to the land of the bored (i.e. Hogwarts) for me.

Sigh. I think I'll dance for a bit.

**7.20 pm**

Bored of dancing. It's no fun on my own.

Where are those two anyway?

**7.30 pm**

Finally, they've come back.

Now I have my two good friends Edith and Nat to join me in my little world of boredom.

Sigh.

**8.11 pm**

Went down to the common room to see if we could copy our homework off Kez. Irksomely this happened to be the exact same time that James Potter and his mates decided to set of a stink bomb. Why do boys always insist in being so infuriating? Everyone has to retreat to their dorms until the smell wears off.

We are currently discussing way to seek our revenge.

Here's what we've got so far:

Lily, Nat and Edith's Plans to Seek Revenge on Potter and his Mates 

Step 1) Actually think of something…

Um yeah… we're working on it.

**8.15 pm**

Well we've given up on that plan. Thinking takes too much effort.

We really need to get lives, don't we?

**8.17 pm**

Ugh! Hungry!

**9.30 pm**

We decided that the dung bomb smell in the common room must have worn off by now so we went down to see if we could get Peter Pettigrew to tell us how to get into the kitchens.

Ho hum.

Peter's so funny to wind up.

He was just sitting there doing his homework and minding his own business when we sat down net to him and began our interrogation.

Here's how it went:

Me: Hi Peter! (I poked his arm)

Peter: Oh, hi.

Me: How are you Peter? (Poke)

Peter: fine.

Me: Wotcha doing Peter? (Poke poke)

Peter: (getting rather annoyed by now) Homework.

Me: What homework are you doing Peter? (Again, poke)

Peter: Transfiguration.

Me: Where are the kitchens Peter? (poke poke poke)

Sirius: Don't tell 'em Peter!

Me: (Poke) Don't listen to him Peter! You can tell us. We'll keep your funny little secrets.

Sirius: Don't do it Peter!

Edith: Shut up Sirius!

Me: We're not giving up until you tell us Peter! (Poke)

Peter –who I'm sure, was, by then, sick of hearing his own name- promptly realised that resistance was futile and gave up his secret. Then, with another poke, we thanked him and were off.

I don't know who those boys think they are anyway. They don't own the school. Who are they to dictate who can (i.e. them) and can't (i.e. everyone else) use secret passageways and be able to just pop off to the kitchens whenever they feel peckish. And all stuff like that. What, do they think they'll run out of food or something?

Those four boys are undeniably silly.

Anyway, the kitchens were really big, like the size of the great hall. It even had the same tables but there was all plates and junk everywhere and it was filled with house elves. When we stepped in they all came crowding round us asking what we wanted to eat.

Nat was rather embarrassing about the whole thing really. She spoke to the house elves as if they were foreign or something. Only not in another language, I doubt Nat has the brain capacity to speak anything other than English. And even that is pretty shabby. So basically she was talking really loud and really slowly to them. I don't get why, I mean, I know their grammar isn't perfect and they could do with using a few pronouns very now and again. But there was no need to underestimate their understanding of the English language like that.

Anyway, the house elves must have just thought she was nuts (which she is) and brought us what we asked for (chocolate on chips all the way. I don't know why everyone gets all 'eeee' when they see us eating it. It's gorgeous. Unhealthy, yes, but gorgeous all the same).

When we got back to the common room we felt ready for anything.

Even our charms homework.

Problem is we couldn't for the life of us remember what it was that we were supposed to be practicing. And guessing it resulted in disastrous consequences.

I said, "God, Nat, blow up the Common room why don't you?"

I think the people of Gryffindor must be getting pretty sick of the whole retreating to the dorms business.

Nyeh. They'll get over it.

**A/N:** Well I liked it. I don't know about you though, you're gonna have to review if you wanna read more.


	2. James the loon

Saturday 12th December Common room 

**6.05 pm**

It was Hogsmeade today. So we all had a wonderful excuse to escape from the ultimate place of boredom that is Hogwarts.

It was actually quite fun. Gasp! But that's only because we weren't stuck in school all day.

We had to wear all gloves and scarves and stuff because it was freezing out. It actually snows here in winter, you know. It's bloody nuts.

Anyway, thanks to my commendably lucky luck (not) I lost one of my gloves. Evidently my friends don't understand the phrase 'patience is a virtue' since they wouldn't let me stop to look for it. Therefore I had to wear one glove on both hands. Very cosy, but it makes it hard to use your hands…

We went to the three broomsticks and out of curiosity I decided to see if I could pick up my butterbeer with my elbows. No luck. After nearly spilling it all down my groovy Doctor Who scarf I got the point and decided to give up.

We sat in the three broomsticks for a while. Just drinking butterbeer and trying to figure out which people were gay then we went out and sang funky muggle songs really loud. Sadly we had to stop when a teacher gave us the evil eye. So just we danced instead.

I wonder how many weird looks we've gotten in our time as friends. Probably too many to count, never mind remember.

Good times.

Before we went back to the castle we went to see Fitness, the lad we're stalking. He works at Zonkos and is absolutely gorgeous. We dared each other to go and talk to him for a bit until we got kicked out for sitting in the isles and sniffing the smelly ink (coconut flavour- ick!!!) when we weren't actually buying anything.

Then, sadly, it was time to go back to school.

I made friends with a first year boy in the carriage though. His name's David and he's so cute. He's really tiny and he looks like he's only seven but he's really eleven. Bless his little cotton socks.

**8.20 pm**

I swear this school is bonkers!

McGonagall has come in twice this evening to complain about noise levels -She says she can't hear herself think. I fail to see what's so bad about that though. Who would want to listen to that loony old brain all day? If I were her (thank goodness I'm not) I think I'd want a break from that little voice in her head that's going, 'go on, make that kid miserable. You know you want to,' once in a while.

Anyway, she came in and complained for a while but didn't even notice that half the furniture is missing after last night's fiasco (We had to attempt to hide the evidence). The walls are even a bit black in places (I'm telling you, charms homework is dangerous).

It was way weird.

In other news (even weirder news at that), we were trying to chance the walls back to their normal colour when James Potter came over to us. We just stared at him like he was bonkers (because he is) for a bit. We were surprised that he'd actually acknowledged our existence to tell the truth. It's not that we're boring or anything like that (we're just bored that's all) I mean, how many boring people have a day like we've just had? No, it's that we're too interesting for everyone. They're just jealous.

So when James came over it was all a bit strange really. With him never having noticed us before and all. Well we've never blown the common room up before either so, you know…

He looked around for a bit then went, "So is this you're doing then?"

Nat replied that she was, indeed, the cause of all the hullabaloo (actually 'hullabaloo' is a bit of an overstatement since no one was really bothered by it all) and then James looked at us all and went, "Cool."

Then, like the big loon he is, he just walked off.

We all stared after him.

What had been the need in that?

I'm sure I've mentioned it a million times but he _is_ strange.

My Dorm 

**9.15 pm**

Perhaps McGonagall did notice the blowing up of the common room and James got blamed for it.

He's probably gone and grassed us in so that he doesn't get in trouble.

What a loser.

**9.20 pm**

Ooh I _am_ mad.

**10.00 pm**

Nat thinks he was just being friendly for some anomalous reason, but that just brings us back to the whole '_Qu'est-ce que le_ point?' thing. When I told her how silly she was being she just told me to shut up and stop being so cynical all the time.

I stared at her, this was one of my best friends talking to me here, and she didn't even know that I'm about as whatever the opposite of cynical is as they come. Is that even the correct use of the word anyway? I don't know. Which brings us on to another subject, "Where on earth did you learn a word like cynical?"

"Oh shut up!" was her witty comeback.

So now it seems I have two mysteries on my hands: the James thing and the sudden expansion of Nat's vocabulary.

How exciting.

Sunday 13th December Common room 

**10.00 am**

Some fruit has gone and fixed the walls. Now we've got nothing to work on in our spare time (i.e. all the time. We don't have lives remember?).

Oh well, as the saying goes: when bored, eat.

Mmm Chocolate…

Kitchens Munching on chocolate 

**10.45 am**

James and Sirius came to the kitchens. And they spoke to us. Again. Well technically Sirius hasn't spoken to us before so it can't really be again… but still…

I haven't figured out what this is all about yet either. Since they spoke us again it can't be the grassing us in thing. So what?

Sirius said, "So is this how it's gonna be now? The secrets of Hogwarts are no longer ours alone to keep?"

I ignored the question and asked, "Do these secrets make life here more interesting by any chance?"

James looked at me kind of questioningly while Sirius looked bitter.

"Cheer up Padfoot," James said, turning back to his friend, "It won't be that bad."

"Yeah," I interrupted with a smile, "us social rejects aren't all that bad."

James gave me another funny look.

He's doing that a lot, isn't he?

I wonder if I've got something on my face…

**A/N:** Yayness, I actually got reviews! And to contradict my earlier comment on snow it's just started snowing a bit too. How weird is that? Anyway I shall now reply to all my magnificent reviewers…

**Milka-Weasley: **Thanks. I've never read Bridget Jones though. I'm sure it's brill. After all, the first film is (I haven't seen the second one). Anyway, I'm glad you like my story.

**Juls130:** I don't quite get what you meant in this review but the only reason it's going so fast is because I don't want to put loads of detail into the boring bits. Nobody would want to read it. But anything that is important to the plot will be done in detail. Thanks for the review!

**My Divinest: **Wowzers! Thanks, I'm glad you like it.

**Taintless: **Merci boucoup!

**RebelWriter: **Yay, I think I might have got my sence of humour back! Who knows? I'll try writing more of ESFTLB later. Thanks for the review!

**Mello80:** Hello again! Sorry about not writing a sequel to my other fic I just don't have a clue what to write. Same goes for the epilogue. Anyway, this is better than nothing, isn't it? And you should write that fic, what have you got to lose? Thanks for reviewing.

**Lady of Masbole: **Same thing that I said to Mello80 about my other fic. And thanks, I'm glad you like it.

**erak:** It was those books that inspired me to write this. They're a work of genius aren't they? Anyway, no prob about hat fic, it sounds good I shall have to read it. Thanks for reviewing.

Now, some nice long reviews would be cool. But if you can't be bothered then just let me know you've read it. Thanks!


	3. The unfairness of life

**Common room**

**1.35 pm**

"This is all very mysterious isn't it?" I asked as we were doing our homework.

I wish Danny would stop leaving so much out of his. It's making it dreadfully hard to copy.

Edith looked thoughtful while Nat crossed out a word that she'd spelled wrong for about the fiftieth time. Jeez, it's not that hard to copy something, love.

"You mean they way Kim's hair is a different colour every day?" Edith asked.

I looked over to Kim, who was currently flirting with some seventh year, then shook my head.

"No, a different mystery. And, anyway, don't be ridiculous. It's not that her hair is changing colour, you're just confused be cause it's impossible to tell what colour it is in the first place. I mean, is that orange, or strawberry blonde, or brown, or what?"

I rested my chin in my hand. It was all rather confusing.

"All of them, I think," Edith replied, staring at Kim. She shook her head then turned to me and asked, "So what mystery is it you speak of?"

As if she didn't know.

Really!

"Edith," I said, "if you're not careful you'll end up as clueless as Nat is."

"Huh? What was that?" Nat asked, looking up upon hearing you're name.

I said, "Nothing, love. Just go back to your work."

But, of course, there was no stopping her now she was interested.

"No, what were you saying?"

"Why has James Potter suddenly decided we're worthy of his presence?"

Edith shrugged, "Maybe we're the victims intended for his next prank. He could be doing some research for it or something."

I blinked, then my eyes widened in realisation. Why hadn't I thought of that? It was all so obvious now.

"Why, that sneaky little plant pot!" I said.

Edith nodded. "Indeed, Lily. Indeed."

**3.20**

Our plan is this: we will simply have to figure out what the prank is and somehow prevent it.

Don't ask how. We never really spend too much time on our plans. It takes too much effort. Effort that could be used on playing hangman or something equally as entertaining.

Like I spy.

Although that's not quite as good as hangman.

But, then, what is?

But, getting back to the subject at hand, for our plan to work we have to make the effort to put it into action.

Which involves using our brains.

Ugh! Effort is a real pain in the bum.

**Dorm  
****  
7.30  
**  
I think I'm in love.

Forget fitness, I think we have a new stalkee. One who resides within the walls of Hogwarts.

And to think, I didn't even know he existed before dinner today.

We were discussing our plan when I saw him. The most gorgeous seventh year Ravenclaw ever.

I couldn't believe I'd never seen him before. I mean, how do you miss someone who looks like that. Someone with that longish blond hair, that perfect face, and the totally buff body you could so tell he had underneath that shirt.

"His name's Josh Walker," Edith said when I pointed him out.

My head snapped round to face her. "How do you know?"

Edith gave me a sympathetic look. "He's my sister's boyfriend."

I stared at him. "He's not."

"I'm afraid he is."

I shook my head slowly. "That is so typical."

Edith and Nat nodded.

I thought about the predicament for a while then said, "Well never mind. He's sure to come to his senses soon."

"Yeah," Edith said, "After a year."

Ugh! She _is _insufferable. She just had to go and ruin my fantasy didn't she?

No matter. A silly thing like him having a girlfriend can't stop me from fantasising, can it?

Mmm… Josh…

**Monday 14th December**

**History of magic **

Life is so unfair!!!!!

The particular aspect of life I'm talking about is, of course, having Professor McGonagall for a transfiguration teacher.

All I did was fall of my chair!!

It was quite funny actually. Painful, but funny.

You see, I was swinging on my chair –yes, the kind of swinging you get warned about in infant school- and then I just fell backwards.

Needless to say, the whole class saw.

There was laughter.

Lots of laughter.

I was joining in actually.

Only, after McGonagall had finished giving me a lecture, we (me, Edith and Nat) couldn't _stop_ giggling. I couldn't help it; Edith kept doing impressions of my face when I fell (kind of annoying at first but in the end I had to laugh)

McGonagall then said she'd had enough of our 'silly nonsense' so she _split us up!!!!_

And I bet you can guess whom I ended up next to.

Dear old Jamiekins of course!

Who I doubted would be at all happy about Sirius having to move.

But if he was annoyed he didn't show it. He just smirked while the rest of the class laughed at me.

Wow. I am _such_ a hoot!!

Ugh! This is so unfair.

**Common room**

**4.30**

He was actually quite nice though. James, I mean.

Like, he helped me when I was stuck on my work. And, unlike the rest of the lads in this school; he actually treated me like a real human being.

It makes a nice change.

I wonder how long it will last.

**A/N:** I don't think this chapter was as good as the first too but it will get better. I just don't want to rush the plot that's all. Anyway, I don't know when I'll get a chance to write the next chapter. I'm busy all next week but I'll be as quick as I can.

Thank you to my reviewers…

**Sannie: **Was that soon enough? Thanks for the review.

**sjpgurl13:** Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

**Dress-without-sleeves: **Thank you. I'm trying my best.

**Aiki-Tenshi: **I know. I'm working on the comma thing. I just don't seem to notice where I miss them when I proof read. My friend said she'd beta my stories but I think she might be busy today and this is the only chance I'll have to post in a while. And about the James thing, it was only the first chapter ok? He's here now.

**RebelWriter: **Your reviews are always so encouraging, you know. I love getting them. Thanks so much!

**Milka-Weasley: **Will do.Thanks for reviewing again.

**My Divinest:** I'm trying. It's just that sometimes it comes to me naturally but sometimes I have to think about it. Which is hard. I'm trying to remember funny stuff that's happened to me and put that in somehow. So just bare with me.

**CountessMel: **Cool. Although I do change the way I speak quite often. Depends on what mood I'm in…

**Alex:** lol. It's this big joke in my French class to just put 'le' in front of an English word if you don't know the French word for it. Anyway, I'm glad you like it.

**Potterpunkchick: **Was the French actually right? I wasn't sure. I think that was a quick update though. Thanks for the review.


	4. Death by embarrassment

**Dorm**

**6.50**

Well, looks like I'm bored again.

I'm feeling kind, though. So I won't share the complete and utter boredness that is my life with you right now.

Maybe in a few hours or something…

Common Room 

**7.30**

Decided to come down here and see if anything is going on.

I found Edith and Nat. I don't see why they insist on ditching me so much. Perhaps I am boring after all. It would make sense. Why else would I be bored all the time?

Oh crap!

Practically all the lads in our year have started throwing stuff at each other.

I'll have to stop writing. I need to be fully aware of everything going on around me to survive this.

**Dorm**

**7.45**

Ok, sixth years throwing books and stuff at each other for 'fun' is bad enough, but when the seventh years get involved you know it's time to run. Even the joy of watching others get injured is not worth the risk.

We aren't the only ones who have run for cover. Lauren, Kate and Danielle –who, sadly, share our dormitory- are also up here. It's a rare thing, really, that they've decided to join us. Not that they've really joined us, they're over on the other side of the room. But it makes a change –not a very nice one, but a change all the same- since usually they stay down in the common room. I guess the risk of getting a black eye is too great for them.

**7.50**

I am positive that those three are out to get us. Well, we know they've been out to get us since halfway through first year, but that's not the point. The point is that they are obviously plotting against us right now.

But then again, they could be discussing make up or something… Who knows?

One thing I have noticed, though, is that Kate keeps looking over at me.

So, either they _are_ talking about me, or Kate's a lesbian.

It could happen.

But, on the other hand, why would she fancy me?

No, they are definitely plotting something.

And it's not how to win my affections.

Ooh! I'm all paranoid now!!!

**7.55**

It's all right. They've gone back to picking the split ends out of their hair.

On an even brighter note, I don't have any split ends.

So take that fools!!!!

Mwuhahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!

Sorry, I've become psychotic due to boredom.

**8.05**

What are they doing here, anyway? Shouldn't they be flirting shamelessly with any male foolish enough to come near them? Surely the common room is safe by now. How interesting can throwing things around be?

I shall have to check.

**9.15**

We went down to the common room to investigate the strange happenings and found that there were hardly any girls left in there. The throwing things has stopped though. I guess everyone else ran off as well and haven't deemed it safe to come out again yet. So we just stayed down there and talked of things like the possibility of Kate swinging both ways.

However our extremely intellectual conversation was interrupted when James, Sirius, Remus and Peter walked in. this surprised us. Not because they knew how to get in (I've noticed that they're actually quite smart), but because the confusion on their faces (at the mess and lack of girls in the common room) meant that they hadn't had anything to do with the earlier chaos that had taken place in there.

Weird.

I guess they are above throwing books at people. They have better things to do.

Like pranking innocent girls for instance…

So, in their state of confusion, they decided to grace us with their presence.

"Where is everyone?" Sirius asked as they all sat down next to us.

"Taking cover," Edith replied, "They haven't realised that it's safe to come out yet."

"Oh," Sirius said, "right."

Then all went quiet.

"So…" James said, wanting to break the silence. He turned to me, "Enjoy transfiguration today?"

"Oh yeah," I said, "I'll treasure the memories always."

James grinned, "It certainly was fun."

"Really?" I asked, not particularly bothered. "So, what thanks have you got in store for me for splitting you and Sirius up?"

I swear that funny look James keeps giving me is getting old now.

Could he be any more obvious about the up and coming prank?

**Tuesday 15th December **

**Charms**

_What was _that

I don't know

_Was he serious?_

I don't know!!!

He seemed pretty jokey about it, I wouldn't worry

_Nat's right, I mean, he didn't ask you out or anything_

So it was just a joke then?

Yeah, they'll have forgotten about you by tomorrow

Did he just wink at me?

I said tomorrow!!!

_Just forget about it Lily_

Ok, I'll try. If you're sure-

_We are!_

**Dorm **

**4.30**

I am such a loser. I bet if anyone else was in my position they wouldn't freak out like this. They were probably only joking and I bet I looked like a right mong.

Somebody shoot me!

Here's what happened:

Transfiguration started off normally. James was just helping me with my work. Just like he did yesterday. Nothing strange about that. But then Sirius, who sits right behind us said James' name. He turned around and then Sirius went, dead casually, "So, do you still like Lily?"

Right in front of me!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sure I must have gone bright red. And why not? I think I had a right to be embarrassed. I mean, who does that?????????

I wasn't sure where to look after that. I mean I couldn't look at James. And Remus was on my other side, grinning like mad.

He thought it was funny!!!!!!!!

It wasn't.

It _so_ wasn't.

So I just looked at my work, positive that I looked like some big, red thing.

Which is what I was.

And then James went, like he wasn't a bit embarrassed to admit it –which he wasn't, "Yeah."

Just like that!!!!!!

And I'm there, dying of embarrassment!!!

And then Sirius went, "Lily?" like he wanted me to turn around, and I –not knowing what else to do- did so.

And do you know what he said? He said, "Will you give James a kiss?"

My head snapped back round to my work. I could tell Sirius and Remus were laughing. I don't know about James, though, I was too busy dying of embarrassment to look at him.

Somehow, this wasn't displayed in front of the whole class. Which is unusual. I was lucky enough for it only to stay between the row I was on and the one behind. Nat and Edith saw it though, which I guess is good because now they can comfort me.

They're convinced it was just that prank Edith mentioned and everything will go back to normal tomorrow.

I really hope so.

**A/N: **Well, Sirius is being a jerk. And I suppose James and Remus are too by going along with it. Poor Lily.

Thank you everyone for reviewing, usually by the third chapter of my stories It goes from about 8-10 reviewers to about 2 so please keep it up!

**dress-without-sleeves:** Thank you!!!!

**RebelWriter: **Sounds good. I think it could fit it in. My email is fluffy zebras bt internet .com (but without the spaces)I'm not supposed to put it on my profile since it's actually my dad's address and he doesn't want me to. And that would also be the reason why, if I sent you a reply it would say it was from him and not me. Just thought I'd clear that up for you. I'll try and think of something as well but I'm not very good at thinking of pranks the last one I did was turning all the TVs in the house fuzzy and hoping my cousin had seen the Ring.

**mello80: **The only Yellowcard song I've heard is Ocean Avenue because it was on Kerrang quite a lot when it came out, so I'm not really a big fan of them. I've got this idea for a song fic about Cho to Psycho Girl by Busted but I don't think I'll write it. Anyway, I'm glad you're enjoying this.

**CountessMel:** I'll admit I'm not really trying with the writing. But if you were keeping a diary would you bother making sure the writing was perfect? At least I think that's what you're on about. Tell me what aspect of the writing you mean. And I'm glad you like Lily. Her character doesn't really fit in with the books but I guess she needs to be like this for the plot to work out.

**potterpunkchick:** Thanks. Lily's babbling makes the chapter just that little bit longer, so why not put it in?

**FallenFlower:** Most of the things I've put in here have happened to me. The Hogsmeade thing is basically an average trip to town for my mates and me… Good times!

**Tanya J Potter: **Thanks.

**DancinSweethart: **I only read the LJ fics myself since. And I've been reading them since before I'd read the Mediator so I still read a few of them, just not as many. So thanks for taking the time to read this.


	5. World Domination!

**Dorm**

**4.50**

I've just realised something; I don't have transfiguration tomorrow!

It doesn't mean I won't see James again but at least he wont be sitting next to me. What can he do from across the room?

Still, I'm not taking any chances. I will not go down to the common room tonight. Except for on the way to dinner of course. I can't miss _that_.

**6.42**

I think I've learned to see the funny side of all this now. Sort of, anyway. I mean, it was obviously a joke.

When I went down for dinner earlier James blew me a kiss and Sirius was telling me to blow one back to him. I didn't, of course, but even all of this I have to admit they are quite funny.

Still, I didn't think it was very nice of them to embarrass me like that.

**8.50**

Ha! Nat 'accidentally' nicked (don't ask how that's possible) one of Professor Scott's own Divination books! We found it in her bag. I, personally, think she did it because she has a soft spot for the subject that she won't admit to. She, however, claims that she must have picked it up with her other books and put it in her bag without noticing.

Well, as the young-uns would say: Yeah, right.

So anyway, we were having a flick through it because, well, there's no denying that Divination is both hilariously ridiculous and ridiculously hilarious (there's a difference…Sort of).

So, as we were looking through it we found this astronomy… or is it astrology…?

Whatever, it was this horoscope-ey type thing. I forget how it works but the point is it gave us clues to our destiny. Edith says they're just a list of characteristics and stuff like that, but of course, I know better. I mean, what kind of characteristic is 'drive'?????

Anyway, my destiny includes the following words:

ENTERPRISE

DRIVE

DOMINATION

That's all I can remember anyway, I'm too lazy to look it up again. So, naturally, my destiny is this:

To DRIVE the starship ENTERPRISE in order to achieve world DOMINATION.

It's a foolproof plan really. Except I can't really figure out how it works… But, hey, a girl with a spaceship has got to be pretty intimidating. I'll have conquered the world in no time.

I think I'll have Hawaii first.

Mwuhahahahaaa!!!!!!!!

Edith says it's ok as long as she can have Poland.

Nat wants Chester.

**Tuesday 14th December**

**Potions**

James and Sirius ignored me at breakfast this morning, which I took as a sign that Nat was right about the 'I said tomorrow!!!' thing.

I was a fool.

I Just got this note from James:

My love,

Will you meet me?

James

Translation: will you meet m in a stock cupboard for a snogging session?

I was _not_ impressed.

When I looked up Sirius, Remus and Peter were laughing while James was saying, "Look at the wink!" that he had apparently drawn.

I scrunched up the parchment and ignored him.

Ugh! He is _such _a loser!!!!!

**Still Potions**

How do you _draw a_ _wink_ anyway??????????????????

**Potions again**

Does the fact that he was winking at me mean he was joking?

Duh!!!!!!

_Of course _he was joking!!!! Why would he be interested in me?????

**Lunch**

When the lesson finished Edith was still laughing. It's all right for her to think it's funny (although it's not very fair); it's not _her_ they're doing it to. She doesn't know what it's like to be laughed at like that.

They started again at lunch, calling my name and making kissy faces. And just when I thought it couldn't get worse guess who walked past.

That would be _Josh!!!!!!_

He saw the whole thing and gave me this weird look.

My life is over.

**A/N: **Sorry it's so short, I don't have time to write anymore and I'm not sure if I'll get another chance to update this week. I might be a bit longer than usual updating the next chapter since I want to update something else first and I'm going on retreat this weekend so I won't be able to update then.

To my reviewers…

**DemetersChild: **I agree, they're all fools. Thanks for the review. I'll finish reading your story when I get the chance.

**dress-without-sleeves:** Hmm… I might just do that. But, then I might not. Depends if I can find a way to fit it in… Thanks for reading. 

**CountessMel: **Thank you! I'm trying my best.

**mello80:** Thank you! I'm glad you thought so!

**My Divinest: **You shall find out in time my friend. Thanks for the review.

**Lady of Masbolle:** Teehee, I knew you hadn't abandoned me. At least I hoped not anyway. But now you've reviewed. Thank you!!!

**Blink182Rox: **Thanks. And I totally agree with the name. I was just listening to them. Keep reviewing!

**Potterpunkchick: **Thanks. I think it was mean. But I guess you could be right. It's a matter of opinion really.

Keep reviewing everyone!!! You owe it to me since I'm missing Big Brother to write this!


	6. Invisibility

**Dorm**

**Still Tuesday**

**6.30 p.m.**

Ooh. Edith has invited Nat and me to a party that her parents are having. I guess it's not a proper party since we will definitely not be hanging round with the adults and that means that there will only be a few of us. And most teens tend not to go to parties that their parents will be attending… but they'll be pissed anyway so who cares?

Plus, why would I want to go to one of those parties that I've heard Lauren talking about. Like I'd actually _enjoy_ one of those! I mean, how are you supposed to crazy dance with your friends when you've got someone like Wendy Thompson watching you… and judging you… Wendy's nice enough, but she is _so_ not the type of person you'd want to make a fool out of yourself in front of. Not to mention the many lads that would be surrounding her.

But then, it's not like we'd be invited to a party like that anyway.

What I'd like to know is just how they work. I mean, they could only have them during the hols and if the pupils go home for them then they'll all be scattered across the whole of Britain. So what do they do? Travel all the way across the country just to get there? Or is it just the people who live nearby?

Whatever.

So yeah, we're going to this party then spending the rest of the hols at Edith's.

Mum won't mind since it's after Crimbo, so I'll be home for that (so she can just get drunk and ignore me). I just sent her an owl telling her the great news so it's all set. Soon we'll be partying like party animals!

And do you know what the best bit is?

Josh will be there!!!!!

Edith said that Lisa (her sister) invited him. I guess it pays for your crush to be going out with your best mate's sister, of all people.

It also pays for your crush to be single and madly in love with you, but I guess you can't have everything. And while he currently doesn't know I exist, it'll have to do.

Anyway, this party is the perfect excuse for us to meet. And when we do he'll fall head over heels for me. It's destiny. I mean, I can't be expected to drive that spaceship on my own, can I? Ha! As if!

**Wednesday 15th December **

**Dorm**

**4.15 p.m.**

I've decided once and for all that something needs to be done about James, Sirius and Remus. I am really fed up of this now. Practically the whole of sixth year and all of Gryffindor know that I am 'the object of James' affections' (ha! More like 'the object of James' humiliating pranks'!). And, quite frankly, I think that means that this has gone too far.

Only what can I do about it? I've asked Nat and Edith but they just told me not to make such a big deal out of it since it's only a joke. Well that's easy for them to say, they're not the ones James and his mates are making a fool out of. Can you believe that they actually think this is _funny_? Yeah, it is _so_ not.

So, getting back to my original point, what can I do?

…

……

………

_**I can't think of anything!!!!!!!!!!**_

Right, that's it. I'm going to stop writing and sulk until someone notices I'm alive and offers to help me.

Starting from now.

**4.25** **p.m.**

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!?!?!?!?!?!

It's like none of them even know I'm alive! Which would be perfectly acceptable if it weren't for the fact that the people in question are my BEST FRIENDS!!!!!!

God, I am so pathetic.

**Thursday 16th December**

**Transfiguration**

This is getting old now.

I mean, you'd think that a simple prank would stop being funny after two days. But apparently not.

Right, I've decided that this is getting so sad that I'm just going to have to ignore it.

From now on I will _not_ let James Potter annoy me.

Not one bit.

La la la!!!

**Still transfiguration**

WHY WON'T THEY JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!?!?!?!

Oh, God, I think James just looked at what I was writing. If the smirk on his face is any indication. Can this day get anymore embarrassing?

Note to self: when writing in this diary do** not** leave it in full view of the person you are writing about.

Well, actually, that was an exaggeration I _was_ trying to hide it. I mean, this diary is _secret_; I don't go around advertising it to people. But I need to make sure that people don't think they can get away with looking over my shoulder while I'm writing in it.

I guess the best way to do that would be to stop writing in it in front of people. I should probably do that.

Like now.

**Dorm**

**7.30 p.m.**

Only one more day to go until I'm free!!!

La di da!

**A/N:** **Sorry if that chapter was boring. And way too short. I just wanted to get this chapter posted today and I don't have time to write more right now. I've got a lot of art homework to do since I was off school last week and now I'm behind. So yeah, now I have to abandon my story to draw animal prints on strips of paper. _So_ not a good task to give to someone with an attention span as short as mine.**

**Now to thank my reviewers…**

**RebelWriter: Aww I wouldn't neglect you. You're right; I didn't get your review for that chapter. Oh well, at least I know you did review it. And yes, James is being a jerk. Well, he was in the book wasn't he? Not that this follows the books all that much. I don't know about Josh, though. I haven't given him a character yet. I'll have to do that soon…**

**My Divinest: If I made you crazier than you already are then I apologise. And I trust you are now well informed on who Josh is? Keep reading!**

**Dress-without-sleeves: Thanks. It would be pretty annoying if it turned out that someone else had done it first. That's happened before to me. Only, with fics that I wanted to write but I wasn't sure whether I was actually going to get round to it.**

**CountessMel: Noted and understood completely. The poor girl. Thanks for the review.**

**Potterpunkchick: lol it is indeed amusing. Thanks!**

**Mello80: Thanks for the review. I'll check out your other story as well when I get a chance to.**

**Sumrandumperson: Thank you! I guess it's just easier to make it funny when Lily isn't being all serious.**

**Angel Street: Dude, of course there were Joshes. It's short for Joshua, which is like quite an old name. Well according to my mum anyways… and I guess as someone who was alive in England at that time she's a pretty reliable source. But, anywho, thanks for the positive.**

**Blink182Rox: Thanks!**

**Kel: You can say that again. Thanks for the review. **

**If anyone's got any ideas for stuff that could happen then I'd be glad to hear them. I know how I want the basic storyline to turn out but I'm running out of ideas to put in between them. So if you could help out then I'd be grateful. Oh and if you've got time could you pweeeaase check out my other HP fic The Eternal Search For The Lads' Bathroom? Pretty please with sugar on top? I'll totally love you forever if you do.**

**Right, now review please!**


	7. CHEESE!

**A/N: I wrote the story in this chapterwith my friends, Chloe and Danielle, during a very boring science lesson. We were doing loft insulation or something so you can understand what we were up against. Somehow we all passed our exams on the subject as well, which is quite funny. Sorry if it disturbs you or anything though. I just wanted pad out the chapter a bit and while I was at it I decided to give you a little glimpse into the little world of weirdness that is my life.**

**The bits Edith writes are in italics, Nat is inbold andLily is normal. It will be like that in the future as well, ifI decideto put any notes or anything in it.**

**Friday 17th December**

**Dorm**

**6.00 p.m. **

La di da di dum di doo dum dum di doo da.

Sorry. My happiness over the fact that I will be going home tomorrow has given me the urge to compose a song.

I'm looking forward to seeing Mum and Dad. I'm used to being away from them and all but I do miss them sometimes. It'll be nice to see them again.

And there's the thing with James. It'll be even better to get away from that.

So yeah, la di da!

I'll shut up now

Today was slightly more interesting than usual. The teachers didn't make us do any work, which is always a good thing. Since work is evil and all. (Shudder)

McGonagall let us sit where we wanted to in Transfiguration. Why can't she do that all the time? What so special about the last day of term? I probably don't need to say this but teachers are weird.

So naturally I sat next to my two beloved friends, Edith and Nat. Away from James. It looks like his love for me isn't strong enough for him to give up the chance to sit next to his mates and cause mayhem and stuff.

Such a shame.

NOT!

It's nice of him to give me a break though.

So yeah, we were supposed to be transfiguring whatever we want (just as long as it's not dangerous or whatever) today to make it more 'enjoyable' (hah!). But after failing many times to turn our books into cheese we just played hangman. We were near the back anyway so McGonagall didn't notice.

Divination was –if possible- even weirder than usual. Nat, Edith and I always knew that Professor Scott was a button short of a cardigan but even _we_ were shocked when as a 'treat' she pulled out a guitar and started singing to us about hobos!

We all had a good laugh at her though. She didn't even seem to mind! But then, what can you expect from a woman who, when we locked her in a stock cupboard in third year, started saying, "Children, can you get the key? The door seems to have locked its self."

The poor woman.

Charms was the best though. We wrote the best piece of fictional writing known to man. Seriously. We'd just got out our parchment for another game of hangman when Edith suggested we wrote a three-word story! Not, as you may think, a story that is only three words long. One where you just write three words each. It's so much fun.

The others have given me permission to stick it in here.

I must warn you though, while we were writing this we got hit in the head numerous times by flying objects. This is probably no excuse but whatever. I just thought you might want to read that nugget of information. We were also eating every flavour beans- a sugary substance that has been known in the past to make us very hyper. As a result of this what you are about to read may disturb you:

**The Marshmallow**

**By Edith, Nat and Lily.**

In Japan, a _moose called Sven_ went to see the Big Cheese, _where he met_ a very unique unique unique unique_ Ninja, with a_ tendency to be bananarama! Sven said_, "Konichiwa, Ninja Dude!"_ to an odd extent of bovered_ he was. _

_The_ Moose had begun to confuse me_ because he wasn't,_ in my opinion, sensible about the_ funky cheese dude_. It took me six foam strips _before I could_ ever even imagine the ninja would _kung fu Sven_ right into thepool of tomatoes.

"_Sayonara!" _

_The ninja_ had once been a shopoholic who_ wore big knickers! _This disturbed the general public of _beetroot town, north _of the equator.

I am a _dumschintzle who dances _for no apparent bee hive.

This _beef stick is _one of the smelliest I have_ sat on. Cheese! _Cheese is my cheese hands on _cheesy gum. _

_You _think I am CHEESE CHEESE CHEESE!

"_Don't be shy!"_ said Sven. 

The cheese told us _the way to _live our lives is in cheese.

_Ninja ate Sven _because he had the cheesy wotsits! _Twas uncalled for!_

At the funeral, the Big Cheese _sang YMCA for _all to see! The Mafia Cheese _arrived_ _on a _complementary beverage table. We flashed big _cucumbers to all _the cheesy wotsits.

"I got hiccups _on my brain,"_ sang the old sack of potatoes.

_The magic cucumber_ from tellytubby land told them to _resurrect Sven so _we had to!

We began an _ancient ritual _by three warty hags, Curly, Larry, Mo _in the fibreglass _woolly cheese stripes.

He came back _screaming 'woo!' but _Sven double died.

**The Very End **

You must understand that we were forced to do this by a very evil thing known as boredom. We could not be held responsible for our actions.

Sigh. I've got a craving for cheese now.

**7.30 p.m.**

Good Lord.

You probably don't want to know what is going on down in the common room right now. But I have never, in the past, made any attempt to preserve your sanity (presuming you were sane in the first place) and now shall be no exception…

It's supposed to be some sort of End of Term Party (or celebration or whatever) and it involves a lot of cross-dressing and posing.

Yes, you guessed it, for our entertainment tonight, the strange folk of sixth and seventh year Gryffindor have put on a transvestite fashion show.

And if that's not enough, James Potter was doing the commentary in a gay lisp.

I suppose he thought it was funny.

It was really.

Especially when Sirius walked down the catwalk in fake tan.

**7.40 p.m.**

Good grief. My life _is_ strange.

**Saturday 18th December**

**Hogwarts Express**

**11.30 a.m.**

Free at last. Well, almost.

It's quite nice on the train though. You can sit and look out the window as all the prettyful scenery goes past. And you can think, 'Ah, that's nice.'

And it's even nicer because you are inside and not outside like all those lunatics who think that going on walks in the countryside is fun. Like my parents, for instance. But let's not go there right now.

Anyway what I wanted to tell you was that I was just walking through the train before when some lad who I don't know came up to me and told me that he knew about my plans to take over the world.

I was, naturally, very shocked about this and said in my most astonished voice, "How did you know about _that_?"

He looked very confused at this and just went, "Um… yeah…" then scurried off.

It was, like everything else in my life, very unusual.

**12.15 p.m.**

The food trolley just came and we all bought ourselves a very nutritious lunch of chocolate and every flavour beans.

I swear my chocolate was green.

**Home**

**6.10** **p.m. **

Home at last.

I am so hungry. Time to raid the fridge, I think.

**8.15 p.m.**

Good grief. I'd forgotten how boring being at home was.

**8.20 p.m.**

Thank goodness for T.V., that's all I can say.

**8.30 p.m.**

Ooh. My cousins are coming over tomorrow. That'll be fun.

**A/N: I'm sorry for that.**

**I'll try and get the next chapter out quicker but I've got other stuff to write so I'll have to concentrate on that as well. And if that's not enough I've got English coursework to redraft and I'm about ten pages behind in my food tech work. I'll try though.**

**Yay! I got ten reviews! Thank you so much for sticking with me everyone!**

**Rebel Writer: I've got a few things in mind for the party. I don't know about the food fight though… Lily seems quite attached to her food…**

**Mello80: Yeah, I knew that chapter was boring. I just couldn't think of anything to write to make it more interesting. Thanks for reviewing anyway though. Most of the time when I read a boring chapter of a story I like I can never think of anything to say. **

**Josalyn14hpfreak: Eep! I'm being attacked by dying tamagotchis! Um… ignore me. Thanks for the review.**

**CountessMel: Don't worry; it made sense. I'll probably put Christmas and a few other things in, but not much. I'll try and keep the holidays down to one chapter. **

**Kel: Sorry. I'm no good at writing long chapters. They take me forever. Thanks for reviewing though.**

**Lady of Masbolle: I know what you mean. My sister was looking in my sketchbook yesterday after I'd told her not too. I don't like people looking in it because if I want people to see my pictures then I make sure they see them. Her excuse was that 'they were good'. I believe that she thinks that, but I still don't like her looking at some of them. Um, anyway, thanks for reviewing.**

**Fish30: That is one funky name. Thanks for reviewing. **

**Blink182Rox: Thank you! La di da!**

**Angel Street: For your sake I'll try to avoid the phrase 'OMG! Josh!" It shouldn't be too hard really. I can't remember ever writing 'OMG' in the past. Thanks for the review.**

**Ickle-little-evil-me: Aw that is so nice. Thank you! This review totally inspired me get on with this chapter. I know that was a week ago but still… I was writing and then Brat Camp came on and I wanted to watch that and I forgot what happened after that…**

**Keep reviewing everyone! **


	8. Of cats and cousins

**Sunday 20th December**

**My Room**

**12.32 p.m.**

Why isn't anything happening?

**1.15 p.m.**

Ooh! The CUTEST little kitty is outside my window! It's so sweet! It's all grey and fluf-

It's just killed a bird!

That cruel, heartless thing.

**1.17 p.m.**

I'm telling you, this means war!

**2.20 p.m.**

My cousins, Jess, Callum and Ella, have just arrived with their mum and dad. They're staying until Boxing Day, I think. They live in Ireland, you see, so they only really visit on special occasions.

I should probably go now.

**Monday 21st December**

**My Bedroom**

**11.00 p.m.**

And I'd thought I'd been saved from the clutches of boredom.

I was sadly mistaken. Mislead by memories of… I don't know, I can't remember.

I'll admit I've had my fair share of enjoyment today and last night, but I'm bored right now so it's taking over my brain.

Sigh.

We went to town though. Not that we had any money.

I mean, that would be _too_ much to ask for.

Well, actually we did ask. Our parents just said no. Apparently when it's only a few days till Christmas it's 'unthinkable' to ask for one little fiver.

We tried our best though. You have to give us that. I could have sworn my hostage idea would have worked.

While most people would not take kindly to being kidnapped, Ella, who is five, thought it was a very funny game.

Needless to say, the adults didn't notice a thing. And they couldn't have cared less when we sent them the ransom notes.

That's parenting for you.

**Tuesday 22nd December**

**Kitchen **

**3.00 p.m.**

Ella's just made a 'potion' out of stuff she's found around the house. From toothpaste to tomato ketchup, you name it; it's in there.

She's given it to me as an early Christmas present. How sweet.

Callum and I are going to switch it with my sister Petunia's shampoo, which I'm sure will result in hilarious consequences when she washes her hair tonight.

**9.14 p.m.**

Well Petunia's furious.

My work here is done.

**Wednesday 23rd December**

**My Bedroom**

**3.50 p.m.**

That cat's back again. I think I'll glare at it for a while. That'll teach it. Never again will it think in it's little kitty brain that hunting unsuspecting birds is right.

**3.55 p.m. **

Great. I'm being ignored by a cat.

**4.00 p.m.**

Callum decided the best way to get rid of it would be to spay it with the hose. Horrified, I informed him that it would be hypocritical of me to complain about the cat being mean to birds then go and spray it with a hose. Because, really, spraying that cat isn't a very nice thing to do.

Callum just argued that, "It's a _cat_."

Well he can be as insensitive as he likes, but I am sticking to my beliefs.

After informing me that I was being 'ridiculous', the horrible boy decided to do it himself!

I tried to stop him but he overpowered me: he walked outside and, since it was freezing and I was still only wearing my pyjamas, I couldn't follow.

I would not like to be in that cat's shoes right now.

**4.02 p.m.**

But cats don't wear shoes, so I can't really be in them, can I?

**4.05 p.m.**

Puss in Boots wore shoes though. I mean, that's why his name is 'Puss in Boots'.

**4.10 p.m.**

The poor thing.

**Thursday 24th December **

**Christmas Eve!**

**My room**

**10.00 p.m.**

Highlight of the day: we made up an amusing dance involving an impression of a fish.

**10.11 p.m.**

On the plus side that cat hasn't come back yet.

Hurrah!

**Friday 25th December**

**Christmas Day! Hurrah!**

**Living Room**

**10.22 a.m.**

I'd thought I'd escaped from James Potter. Apparently not, he's now sending me gifts. A new diary decorated with pictures of cheese.

Seriously though, who'd bother?

**10.25 a.m.**

And how does James know about the cheese thing?

**7.52 p.m.**

Here we go. The adults have started on the booze.

**11.00 p.m.**

Well it has to be said that there is nothing quite like watching relatives get drunk and fall over. It really is very amusing.

Although it does lose its appeal when you walk into the bathroom and it stinks of vomit.

Not nice.

**A/N: I swear I have a reason for taking so long! I've had exams all week, and before that I had to revise for them. I haven't had any time to write this in ages. **

**17 reviews? Thank you all so much! I've never had this many reviews for a chapter story before! Thank you!**

**Timydamonkey: Squee! lol. And I'd thought you didn't like this. You know, due to your lack of enthusiasm that time I showed it to you. But you do like it! Yay! **

**RebelWriter: You should definitely try it. It's very entertaining. It _was_ sad wasn't it? And it's Chloe's fault that he died again. She claimed that it was 'the best way to end the story' but I bet she's really got it in for my beloved Sven the Moose (narrows eyes at Chloe).**

**Lady of Masbolle: The idea of the fake tan is that it would make his skin look orange rather than tanned. I probably should have mentioned that, it's a funny thought.**

**Blink182Rox: Ah, but where would we be in life without randomness? Answer me that!**

**CountessMel: Um… right. I'll just pretend I understood that. Thanks for the review.**

**Angel Street: Ack! Die coursework! And exams! You know, I handed that essay in ages ago and my teacher still hasn't marked it.**

**Fish30: Haunted eh? Well I just wrote more so looks like the jokes on you! Nyahahaha!**

**And thanks to: Evil-pillow, DemetersChild, Mello80, Emerald hazel, Joselyn14hpfreak, Kel, Emerald-hazel, hIgHoNsUgAr, ickle-littkle-evil-me and erak.**

**Sorry I haven't replied to all the reviews but it's getting late and I want to post this.**

**Ohh! If you want to read a good fic about Lily then go read timydamonkey's Inside Castle Walls. It's really good but I'm the only one reading it, which is a shame because knowing Chloe she won't update unless she gets more reviews. She seems to think of her DBZ fics as her priority (shakes head in shame). lol Just kidding, Chloe. **


	9. Dancing in the street

**Saturday 26th December**

**Boxing Day**

**Living Room**

**10.00 a.m.**

I just asked my aunt why today is called Boxing Day and all she did was give me the complete history of Ireland. I told her that as wonderful as Ireland is that is not what I asked about. She didn't seem to care.

Typical.

**11.00 a.m.**

They'vegone now. I am alone once again. Sigh.

The party is tomorrow though so I suppose I should start packing.

Off I go then.

**11.24** **a.m.**

I hate packing.

**Monday 28th December**

**Edith's room**

**9.30 a.m.**

I'm getting the feeling that something terribly strange is happening. I mean, it's not even 10 and I'm already awake. The other two are asleep on the floor because I managed to nab Edith's bed while we were up talking last night.

Mwuhahaha!

Wow. Only 9.30 and I can still find it in me to cackle. Quite an achievement, I think.

I really don't know why I'm up this early though. We were awake until really late. So basically I'm just going to die from tiredness today or something.

And to top it all off I have Edith's little sister's dog on top of me. Don't ask how that happened. Perhaps it's Edith's idea of revenge for taking her bed or something. I'm pretty sure I fell asleep before her, so she must have arranged it all when she realised. I could _so_ see her doing something like that.

Do I need to mention that Edith's little sister's dog is very heavy?

Ack.

Anyway, I may as well fill you in on how the party went…

Um, it was very groovy.

If you like doing things like going out barefoot in the street then going back in and putting shoes on because it had just been raining and we didn't want to get our feet wet and then going out again and doing crazy dancing in the road, I mean.

Which I do like, by the way. So it's all good.

Edith's sister Emma (the one with the dog) taught me a really cool dance about playing a banjo. Sadly however it looks nothing like someone playing a banjo. Not that I'm an expert on the subject or anything, since my dad wouldn't let me go for banjo lessons that time I asked him. But it was certainly a very amusing dance, so in exchange I taught Emma the one Callum and I made up about the fish.

That's where the fun ended.

I didn't realise it then of course. I was really enjoying myself. It's just that now I look back at it I realise what a sad, sad tale it is.

I'm sure you're all waiting in eager anticipation to find out if Josh _did_ come and how it went with him. Because I know that I would be excited if I was in your position. But I'm sorry to say that things did not go very well for me in that department.

To my delight, Josh _was_ at the party. Like Edith had said he would be.

I hadn't actually been sure if he would come at first. I mean, I didn't really know Josh, did I? How did I know that going to his girlfriend's parent's party was really his cup of tea? And for a while I thought that even if he did come how did I know that he would even speak to us?

I knew all along that it could turn out to be a total disaster. I just had no idea that the disaster would come in this form. I'm trying to decide whether it would have been worse if I found out that he was a bigger idiot than James Potter.

He wasn't though. He was really nice, and totally friendly. Which would have been great if he seemed the slightest bit interested in me.

I can tell he _likes_ me. You know, as a friend. Like, if I made a joke then he'd laugh at it. I thought that was weird. I mean, _I_ think I'm funny and Edith and Nat think I'm funny but none of the lads I know from school think I'm funny.

Seriously, _James Potter's_ behaviour is the height of friendliness towards me from lads at school.

So that's what makes it so bad. Because I _really_ like Josh now, but he probably won't even remember my name by the time we go back to school.

Sigh.

It's not like I was _really_ expecting him to like me, anyway. I mean it's pretty ridiculous for me to hope he'll finish Lisa for _me. _And pretty mean too. I like Lisa; she's really nice. So I'd feel bad if Josh dumped her.

Gah. I'm depressed now.

**5.23 p.m.**

I just told Edith and Nat about the cheese diary James sent me, and it's got us all thinking.

Why _did_ James bother to send it to me?

It's ridiculous though isn't it? You just don't send presents to people you're picking on. Especially presents they actually _like. _

There's got to be a rule about that somewhere.

So what exactly is going through James Potter's head?

Here's what we think:

He's seen the error of his ways and is sending the diary as an apology

He actually likes me

Now here's what we _really_ think:

He's completely bonkers

He somehow thinks that this is a very funny part of his joke

He's completely bonkers (hey, it's VERY likely)

The thing is, however, that as nutty as Potter is he's also pretty smart. So he would probably know the reasons why this diary thing is a stupid idea.

They are as follows:

The rule about sending gifts to people you are picking on

The whole point of picking on me is to embarrass me in public. By sending the dairy to my own house he's not making it very public

He can't see my reaction if I'm at home

It's total waste of time and money for him

This is just completely ridiculous!

So**_ why _**did he do it****

I'm going to think about this some more.

**6.00 p.m.**

What if he _is_ trying to apologise though?

Maybe James isn't really as bad as I've always made him out to be!

Like, what if he was actually trying to _flatter_ Snape that time he got down on one knee and asked him if he would 'go to the prom' with him?

…Actually, maybe not...

**6.10 p.m.**

It has come to me!

He must have cursed the diary or something!

Like so whatever I write in it will get sent to him so he knows what I'm writing!

Oh my God! That is so EVIL!

I am officially NEVER speaking to him again.

Never ever! He is officially on my list of people who are evil and I will never speak to again.

I don't actually have a list like that. But I am SO making one right now!

**Lily's list of people who are evil and she will never speak to again:**

**1) James Potter**

It is official.

**A/N: I have no idea where the inspiration for this chapter came from. It really is ridiculous. I go for months with no idea what to write next, then one day I just randomly go 'hey, why don't I just write this?' and suddenly I've got another chapter written. **

**I'm not sure whether this is actually a good chapter or not, but it's better than nothing I suppose.**

**I know you all totally deserve review replies but I really don't have time. I'll try and fit them in next chapter. Thank you so much for the reviews!**


	10. Back to school disasters

**Sunday 2nd January**

**Edith's Room**

**10:40 p.m.**

Wow, I can't believe how long it's been since I last wrote in here. I must have gotten really lazy over the hols.

You haven't really missed anything though. I did have fun; it just isn't the sort of thing that seems all that interesting when you write it down.

Although, come to think of it, we _did_ nearly die once when we were crossing the road on the way back to Edith's. I hate crossing the road; you'd think that, being part of a magical world, which is full of dark wizards and stuff, crossing the road would be the last thing on my mind, but I swear, it will be the death of me one of these days. We were just lucky this time, since the bus stopped just in time and all.

We also got chased by a bunch of geese for a bit, which was rather scary. And it was on the same day as well, come to think about it. You know, I'm surprised we're not severely mentally scarred from it. It was a very traumatising day for us, well, until we went back to Edith's and made cakes.

Apart from that though, there wasn't much to write about. We're going back to school tomorrow, though. Sigh. So I'll probably be getting loads of nonsense from James, if that cheese diary means anything.

Which reminds me, we haven't actually figured out what's going on with that thing yet. We're going to take a look at it on the train tomorrow, though. So I think I should probably be very scared.

Anyway, we have to get up early tomorrow (gah!) so that we can get to the train on time, so I'm going to go to bed now.

**Monday 3rd January**

**Hogwarts Express**

**12:30 p.m.**

I haven't seen James so far today, which is good. It's too early for me to be expected to deal with his nonsense now.

Well okay, it's half twelve and that's not really that early at all. But considering the fact that I was up at eight this morning and I am SO tired, I think I deserve a break. I mean, what if I fall asleep on him or something?

DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT! IT COULD HAPPEN!

Anyway, it appears we have some business to attend to now. A certain cheese diary has not been checked for spells that could put my privacy at risk.

**12:35 p.m.**

Well, I feel a bit dim. We've just been sat here for about five minutes staring at that damn diary. Well, apart from the bit where I pointed my wand at it and went, very stupidly, "Reveal your secret, diary!"

And then because nothing happened I added, "WE HAVE WAYS OF MAKING YOU TALK!"

Which was a lie, of course, because if we had ways of making it talk we wouldn't have been standing there yelling at it, we'd have been actually making it talk. Which, I'm pretty sure, is just not going to happen because I've always thought that diaries, being inanimate objects, can't actually speak.

Well, actually, I bet there's a spell that can get them to talk, but –

Oh my God!

I have once again come up with an ingenious plan! I have just told Edith and Nat my wonderful idea and we're going to try it no –

**12:40 p.m.**

Well, naturally, that was a disaster. After telling the others about my idea Nat just shrugged and, with a funny wave of her wand, yelled, "Speakus diarius!"

Do I really need to explain what happened next?

I just went, "God, Nat, blow up the carriage, why don't you?"

That was just so like her.

No one was hurt, which is good, I guess, since I don't think the teachers would really appreciate a bunch of kids being killed on the first day of the new term.

I think we're just going to lie low for a while and feign ignorance.

As for the diary… well, I don't think I'll have to worry about that any more. Since it was blown up and all…

Oh, well, at least some good came out of Nat's habit of causing chaos and destruction wherever she goes. Now, back to explaining how adding 'us' to the end of a word does _not_ make it into a spell, never mind one that will actually work...

**1:00 p.m.**

Okay, I was just on my way back from the loo when I bumped into James (on his own, thank goodness). I swear, he just appeared out of nowhere! Well, he could have just stepped out of one of the compartment, I suppose, but… you know…

Anyway, the point is, he was right in front of me before I even had time to throw myself into some random person's compartment to hide myself. And, here's the strange thing, when he spotted me he just_ smiled _at me! There was no blowing kisses or whistling or anything.

How weird is that?

Who knew that once you get James Potter away from his mates he actually acts like a decent human being? It's almost enough to make me like him just a little bit.

Almost.

Whatever. Hey! Maybe this means I won't have to worry about this term being as bad as the last one. James-wise, I mean.

Cool.

**1:10 p.m. **

I spoke too soon.

Guess who just came into our compartment, wondering why they can smell smoke?

Yeah, you got it.

So after about five minutes of, "We don't know a thing… we swear!" from us, Sirius went, with this stupid grin on his face, "Hey Evans, did you get the present?"

"Er… yes," I said, hoping my eyes didn't look too shifty. "And I swear we didn't blow it up already."

Weird looks were exchanged, as usual, and then, after a few kisses were blown in my direction, James and his friends were off.

Ah, how I _love_ being back in school!

**A/N: I did it! I updated! Hurrah! Sorry this took so long. I had writer's block and stuff… They're back in school now though, so hopefully it won't be so hard to come up with ideas for the next chapter, although I've given up on promising I'll be quick, since that usually isn't true. Anyway, thanks for the reviews, you all rock!**

**Review please!**


	11. New Year's resolutions and FREEDOM!

**Tuesday 4th January**

**Some insane time in the morning**

**Some random place**

Too… early…

**A bit later but still too early to find my watch (Why would anyone even need a watch at this time anyway, it's still dark outside, you should all be in bed, people!)**

**My dorm (At least I figured that out)**

Oh, God… too many words…too early…

Ack!

**7.05 a.m.**

Found my watch. God, I'm tired.

You know why that is? Because it's five past seven. FIVE PAST SEVEN!

NO ONE should be up at this hour!

I hate school.

**7.10 a.m.**

So hungry…

Wait! Oh my God, I don't have to make my own food here. I can just go down and get something to eat just like that! _Yes_!

That means I don't have to ask my mum to make it for me.

So then I don't have to put up with the whole 'get it yourself, your not helpless' thing that we always go through, even though, _hello_ Mum, at this hour I may as well be!

So _that_ means I don't have to make it myself, which I usually always end up doing because mums are annoying like that. But now I don't have to!

HURRAH!

I love school!

**8.00 a.m.**

Okay, I've had about ten cups of tea now, so I'm a happy bunny.

I forgot that it's actually quite nice here when you're sitting with all of your dearest friends, dinking tea and eating toast.

And, look, there's little David! And he's sitting with that kid who knows about my plans to take over the world, how lovely.

And then in walks James Potter.

**8. 30 a.m.**

Actually, forget that last bit, because I've made a new years resolution that from now on James Potter will not bother me one little bit, no matter how much he tries.

And it doesn't even matter that I already tried that once and it didn't work, because this is a new years resolution and I HAVE to do what it says. 'Cause that's the RULES.

So there, no more problems with James for me! I can relax and be one with the universe!

And, _oh yeah,_ guess who's got divination next?

Let the fun times begin!

I'm not even being sarcastic.

Seriously.

La di da!

**Divination**

Oh yeah!

This rocks!

**Wednesday 5th January**

**4.30 p.m.**

**Common Room**

What was THAT? What was he DOING?

And who does SHE think she is? What has SHE got to do with ANYTHING?

And-

**4.31 p.m.**

ERASE THAT LAST ENTRY FROM YOUR MEMORIES. ALL OF YOU!

DO IT!

NOW, DAMNIT!

**4.35 p.m.**

I can't believe I just wrote that! What was I thinking? I probably wasn't thinking. In fact it wasn't even me! It was…

It was that girl over there! Yes, _you_, with the curly hair. You are SO up to something I can just tell. Don't even bother playing innocent with me!

AND DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!

Oh, wait, you were looking at him, not me… never mind then.

Okay, so maybe I was just possessed, that makes more sense. I mean, I don't even know who that girl is. Yes, I was definitely possessed. But it's gone now and I'm HAPPY! That was probably one of the best transfiguration lessons I've had in _ages_. It was GREAT!

James must have made a resolution too, because that's the only reason I can think of to explain why he would do something so considerate. He must have said to himself, 'I have been very stupid, but now I have seen the light. From now on I will not hassle Lily Evans, because she is a nice girl and she doesn't deserve it.'

Oh, no, wait! It was probably more like this: 'I have been very stupid, but now I have seen the light. From now on I will not hassle Lily Evans, because she is the most amazingly beautiful, talented, intelligent, funny, kind girl I have ever met and, even though she is way out of my league and I am very upset about this, she doesn't deserve to be treated so horribly.'

You know it's true.

Stop denying it.

So what was it that James did to make this transfiguration lesson so great?

Well, I'll tell you.

In that lesson it was revealed that Kim, who sits next to Sirius and behind me, has a really big crush on James! Seriously! Apparently, Kim was asking Nat if she thought James and I would ever get together (I _know_, the thought sickened _me_ too) because she wanted to know if she had a chance with him, and Remus overheard! And of course he went and blurted it out right in front of all of us.

God knows why she even likes him; perhaps she was possessed too, since James is such a loser and all. You know, he wasn't even embarrassed to find out about it! I suppose that isn't really surprising though, since he's so big headed that he probably thinks _everyone's_ in love with him. Which is just silly, of course. I mean, dream _on_ dude!

Sirius was the one who seemed REALLY pleased about this news, though, because this really big and totally EVIL grin spread right across his face and he went, "You hear that, Prongs? Looks like you've got an admirer."

Kim was all, "Oh my God, shut up Sirius." But you could tell that she was totally loving it, because she was wearing a grin to rival Sirius'.

And it was all made even worse when James turned round and flashed her this smile that I suppose he thought was sexy but _as if_. And Kim let out this totally shameful giggle that I swear she should be arrested for. It was totally embarrassing.

And that's when it happened. Sirius opened his mouth and said the words I was so sure I'd never hear, "Well, it looks like you've been replaced, Lily."

I'd never felt so free in all my life.

**4.45 p.m.**

Well, okay I _was _kind of annoyed about the way he'd worded it. I mean, who wants to be _replaced?_ I _did_ feel like a bit of a reject.

But I'm over it now.

'Cause I'm FREE!

WHOOO! PARTY!

**Thursday**

**Common Room **

**6.15 p.m.**

I had a practically James-free day today.

Seriously.

Well, I _did_ still have to sit next to him in Transfiguration, but he spent like the whole lesson flirting with Kim. You can tell he doesn't really like her though; he's just trying to wind her up like he did with me. She, however, doesn't seem to care, she's totally loving the attention.

To each her own, I suppose.

The point is that I was totally ignored the whole time. Well, apart from when Sirius asked me if I was jealous, and, of course, a question as stupid as that one really doesn't deserve an answer.

So it looks like things are going to go back to normal, now.

Yay!

* * *

**A/N: HELLO all my lovely readers! Yes, I updated! Isn't it amazing? I was going to make this chapter longer, just to make up for taking so long to update, but I just got Kingdom Hearts two and I realised that between obsessing over that and doing homework I'd probably forget all about writing this. I WILL update someday though, because I REALLY don't want to discontinue this fic. Also, I've been thinking about changing the name to this fic. I don't know what to call it yet, but I just thought you should all know so that there won't be too much confusion if I do change it.**

**Anyway, please review and tell me what you think and thank you to everyone who has done so in the past. :D **


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